Throughout the summer I think I did quite a good job of shedding the student label and immersing myself in the work world. Not only did I stick with my two retail jobs, but also I started my internship. This allowed me to take the career girl mentality to a whole new level as I wore my adult dress pants and stationed myself at my little cubicle from 9 to 5 (allegedly) every day. But, as the September rain started to fall and the 99 B-line became increasingly stuffed with textbook-toting coffee-chugging UBCers on my commute every morning, I realized more and more that I belong with them. It feels a little strange to hop off the bus at Granville Street and make my way to an office building where I have to exchange pleasantries in the elevator and swap stories at the water cooler (actually . . .) rather than continuing down Broadway for another twenty minutes and falling out of the overflowing bus doors onto campus.
I always thought that I loved being a student because I love reading, writing, and learning. This is all true. But it's so much more than that! Being a student is a complete lifestyle, and it suits me much more than this one. I prefer to carry my coffee in a travel mug from home and wear my oversized sweaters and scarves to a cozy library where I can read in peace. Instead, I am currently sitting at a desk with a giant Starbucks beside me in shoes that hurt my feet and the constant buzz of activity around me, waiting on edge for the next dreaded pop-in (my boss has developed the uncomfortable habit of incessantly popping his head into my cubicle at whim). I prefer to spend my afternoons and evenings in Calhoun's writing and editing papers, surrounded by other wired students simultaneously loving and hating their lives. Instead, when I am finished work for the day, there's nothing I have to do! (True, the freedom to then do whatever I want is a refreshing change that is appreciated once in a while, but for the most part it just makes me feel listless and useless.) I prefer to organize my own time, making lists and plans of all the books I need to get through and tests I need to study for and checking things off as I go. Instead, I am given assignments at any given time that need to be completed immediately, resulting in an irrational cycle of having nothing to do (hence random 4pm blog post) and then suddenly having a whole lot to do. (Now!) My days are made up of mellow lulls followed by frantic panic, which surely can't be too healthy. (I prefer the healthy dose of constant and tense stress doled out alongside a full course load and a $600 textbook bill.)
That's not to say I'm not loving my internship. I learn a lot - about a lot of really random things. (For instance, today I did extensive research on safe injection sites, Lululemon, Chris Hadfield, Botox . . .you name it.) It's all very interesting and I do enjoy it. But I don't love the context. It's just not part of my personality to be satisfied by sitting still all day and working for somebody else. And that is why I am so excited to start working on my grad school application. This time next year, fingers crossed, I will get to stay on the 99 all the way, hunched in the humid corner with a pile of books and papers. In comfortable shoes. With cheap coffee.
