Instinct

Oh, life. Just when I think I've got you figured out and have wrapped my head around you, you throw yet another curveball and I realize that I don't understand you at all.

The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions and changes and I'm expecting many people to call me a hypocrite for getting back together with my boyfriend after all the yapping I did about needing alone time to find myself. And I would agree with those people - it is quite hypocritical to go off on a rant about the necessity of being single, and then jump back into a relationship. But the thing is, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Follow your heart. . . Trust your instincts. . . .

Seriously, I truly believe that your intuition will lead you to the right place, as long as you don't completely lose your head along the way. The day after I wrote my blog post about finding happiness within before looking for it from somebody else, my ex boyfriend told me he wanted to get back together. And at first I really struggled with the decision, because since the break up I had been consistently telling myself that I needed time alone before returning to a relationship. My initial reaction was to start making a list of pros and cons and call a conference amongst my friends to debate the best move to make. But I resisted, and instead I asked myself what felt right. What were my instincts telling me?

Obviously, my instincts were telling me not to give up on this particular relationship. And so I listened to them, and dove back in. What I'm so thankful for, though, is the necessary relationship between intuition and reason, and the ability my writing gives me to marry the two effectively. Had I not written that blog post, I would have still been an emotional wreck when confronted with this decision, and I may have made the same choice, but it would have been for different reasons. Writing, thereby sorting through my thoughts and feelings, put me in a position where I really could trust my instincts, because I was feeling so secure in myself when it came time for them to kick into action.

I guess what I'm getting at is that even when you think you've got it all figured out, something will shift and you'll suddenly realize that nothing is ever certain. But as long as you get to know and trust yourself along the way, you will be able to rely on your instincts to lead you down the right path in those moments that are too abstract for lists and debates.